Loss is something I think people find hard to talk about especially when its a close family member.
Every year on my sisters anniversary I write a little something on facebook about how much I miss her. This year I want to write more so here I am.
This is what happened to her in brief-
Emma passed away 6 years ago on the 12th of November 2008 at 25 years of age. (Wow seeing that writening down is scary, so much time has passed. So much in my life has changed). Emma died from a brain aneurysm. She was on life support for 3 days. When we all said our good byes we donated her organs, her young body helped so many. There was no cause for her death other than a natural tragedy.
Obviously death effects everyone differently. So I am going to share some of the ways it has affected me. Its not all doom and gloom.
I was pregnant with my first child, Jack, when Emma died. It was hard for me because I not only had to stay strong for my family but also for the little baby growing inside me. When Jack was born I saw the world through new eyes. Eyes of a Mom. Being a first time Mom is hard but harder when you are grieving for your sister. At 22 years of age I had experience two new things that year. Life and Death. I truly believe having Jack made me see things differently. Even though Emma never met Jack I no she was watching over us and that made me enjoy my baby, and not fall into a depression.
To me life is a circle. We are born, we live and we die. Some have shorter lives than others. So I feel we should remember that and don't take life for granted. Have fun, do things and explore. That is something I have learned, I dont always remember and I do take life seriously when I need to but I guess what Im trying to say is, just because I lost my sister doesn't mean I have to stop living. And that is what Ive done. Lived.
Yes I miss Emma. I wish she was here to see how my life has turned out, how my family is growing and be a part of it all. But shes not, and that's OK, because if I could changed time and go back I would, but I cant. I am realistic. She may no longer be here with us but I will always have her here with me.
Emma was a very positive person. Something that took me a while to become. We shared a room all the years we lived at home. All I say on that is, if you are a sister and shared a room, well you know what that was like!! Not all roses and sunshine. We did start getting along better as we grew older. I guess when you become an adult you realise that fighting over a bra or a sock or a hair gogo, isn't really worth it in the end. I do wish I had more adult time with Emma, the time where your sister is a friend aswell.
I am lucky though because I did gain a sister-in-law, Ali. She is an only girl so I showed her what its like to have a sister. In other words I steal her clothes, use her make-up and borrow her shoes. Ali is like a sister to me and also my best friend. I love acting like her Big sister. Give advice when she wants it and when she doesn't. I miss being a sister but I'm lucky I have her.
Remembering Emma-
When I think about her now, yes I can get upset but I can also laugh at things she did. Like, she should of never been allowed to dive her hand eye co-ordination was terrible. I'm surprised she never crashed her car.
She loved Christmas. My happiest memories are Christmas with Emma. My favourite memory is probably the last Christmas we had together. We were in bed (sharing a double bed as we both didn't live at home anymore) singing Christmas carols at 1am as loud as we could. my brother was shouting as us to shut up which made us sing louder. We were actually horse from it. At 6 or 7 am, I'm not to sure which all I know was it was early, she woke up excited! She asked do you think Santa came, we are in our 20s, but I would always play along. It made Christmas feel like you were a child again and the magic of Christmas was there. We would wake my brother who would always tell us go away, in not so friendly words, Emma would go first down the stairs, she would sneak into the sitting room, just in case Santa was still there. He never was. Every Christmas morning was exciting and full of joy. I now continue on that same feeling with my children. Knowing that because of Emma I can still love Christmas even though shes not here enjoying it with me.
I think when we remember someone you shouldn't feel like you have to get upset. That thinking about them doesn't always have to bring a tears to your eyes. Yes I have my moments where I just let it all out, tears snots and roars but we need to do that. Just let it go. When I do, I feel so much better. Only a small few have seen me like that. Just because I don't spend my days crying doesn't mean I don't miss Emma. I do. For me life still goes on,and I continue on.
Time really does fly. 6 years have passed. I still think about Emma, not everyday but when I do, I smile at the memories. I would describe it as a sad smile, but still a smile. I love my sister and I miss my sister, but I have a wonderful life filled with love, happiness.
Wednesday, 12 November 2014
Thursday, 6 November 2014
My Birth At Home
As I write my beautiful Home Birth story. I am gazing down at my baby, beaming from ear to ear, remembering every moment of the amazing journey we had to meet each other. I feel so lucky that I got to experience this.
On Tuesday 2nd of September, after a check up with Mary my midwife, that day I was experiencing irregular pains but as I wasn't due till the 11th, just said they must be braxton hicks. No way was I going to be lucky enough to have my baby 9 days early. Although Mary knew I was going to have my baby soon.
That night we tried to do a trial run of the birth pool. I inflated it and cleaned it out and turned on the hot water, even sent pictures to my friends saying "not in labour yet, just trying it out." Oh how wrong I was. The connection I had for the hose didn't fit the kitchen sink so we had no way of filling the pool that night. Andy said he'll get something in work tomorrow and we would do the trial run on Wednesday night instead. I was happy with that. It was the last thing we needed to do.
I called to a friends house that evening and when I was leaving I said to her partner "Next time you see me now I'll probably be a Mom of 3, how scary is that!" We all laughed at the thought that my baby could come any day now. Got home for about 10pm and went to bed after 11pm. Andy followed me to bed a little while later.
At some point during the night I got up to pee for like the 10th time that night. Nothing unusual about that. This time when I got back into bed I felt a kick but more like a pop and with it my stomach went hard as a rock. I thought to myself no way, this was not it, next thing while lying down, boom ya that was my water gone. I sat up in bed, yes it was defiantly was my waters cause it just wouldn't stop! I woke Andy and said my waters are going, he asked was I sure, em ya pretty sure that pool at my feet is my waters. He just couldn't see anything. I checked my phone it was 2.18pm and I rang Mary straight away. She said she was expecting a phone call from me. She knew by all the signs at my check up that labour had started. She was right I was going to have the baby by the weekend. Then I rang my sister in law, Ali. She was all disorientated on the phone, it was really funny. I told her to stay at home for now and I'll ring her when its time to come over. I didn't know how long my labour was going to be.
Then a bit of panic started setting in. I think it was more adrenalin. I was telling Andy, in a not so calm voice, that he must get the blankets and all the bags quickly and set up downstairs. I genuinely thought I wasn't going to have enough time to set everything up. I finally got down stairs and I remember my heart was going 90 and I kept saying to Andy. Oh my god this is it!! We are having our baby at home. My whole body was shaking. I think it was a combination of nerves and adrenalin. Then I remembered the pool. We have to fill the pool but how? Andy my DIY husband got some connection thingy and anyway what ever it was did the job.
I started timing my contraction they were coming every 3mins and lasting 45sec. The pain was manageable. I was walking around downstairs. When a contraction would come I would lean against the wall. I felt that helped with the pain. Mary arrived just after 3pm. When I saw her a huge sense of relief came over me, I felt now the baby can come. I am in safe hands. Mary gave me a huge hug and the look of joy on her face made me relax even more. She set up her on stuff on the table and plugged in the gas and air. Then she asked could she check me to see how far I am. She didn't tell me how far I was and I didn't ask. I had rang Ali in the meantime and asked her to come over. I felt the contractions were getting stronger. When she arrived I started getting really excited. Mary then said she would just rest in the siting room and leave us to it. I was surprised but then I thought sure what does she have to do? I am the one in control here. Its my body that's doing all the work. So I stopped timing my contraction and just went with what my body was doing. Andy was now filling the pool by a basin as I sat on my ball talking to Ali. We laughed and joked it was like I wasn't in labour and we were just having tea and chats. It was so strange but so nice made me just feel comfortable. Although half way through a senescent I would stop talking and concentrate on breathing through my contraction once it passed we would continue on like normal.
Seeing it was the middle of the night I text a few friends just saying, my waters broke. Knowing they would all be asleep. We took a few picture of me sitting on the ball and having a contraction. I was so calm, its just amazing what you can do if you don't focus on the pain.
I heard Jack upstairs he was going to the bathroom. I went up to check on him. I tucked him into bed, gave him a kiss and thought to myself, how wonderful this is. Here I am in the middle of labour and he is fast asleep through it all. When he wakes up in a few hours, his silbling will be born.
Things started to move faster. The pain was getting stronger so I asked Mary could I go into the pool. She checked me again but didn't tell me how far along I was. We had to cool down the pool a bit. When it was ready I jumped in the contractions were getting even stronger but as soon as I sat in the pool the pain seemed to subside infact it almost stopped. I knew that slower the contractions the longer its all going to be. So I kept moving around in the pool. I found certain positions brought on the contractions. I kept thinking stronger contractions means Im closer to the end, closer to seeing my baby, closer to finding out what baby was. I didn't think I would have my baby in the water but once I got in, I was not getting out until baby was born. At one stage Mary asked me to stand up so she could check babys heart rate. When I stood up I got an contraction and had to sit straight back down cause the pain was so strong but once my body was back in the water I was fine again. Its so funny because when there is no contraction there is no pain. Really no pain at all.
Now things started getting stronger and faster. The converscations had pretty much stopped between us all. I needed to concentrate to what my body was doing. I was leaning over the pool holding onto Andy. I had my head burried in his hands and the pain was intense but bareable. I started grunting and I could feel the head coming down. I asked Mary could I push, she said if thats what I need to do then go for it. I gave a little push and stopped cause it hurt, but then I thought to myself, Right just start pushing cause once I start pushing baby will be here and this pain will be gone. I thought about getting some gas and air but I knew I was OK without it, I can do this. So I asked Mary again can I push and she said yes if you need to and with that I started to push and kept pushing and pushing until baby was born. Then up she swam into my arms. Mary was trying to move the cord off her neck so I took the cord off her neck. I cried out "oh my God its a girl, Its a girl" I felt all along it would be a girl and I was right. I was shaking with joy. I did it. I did it all by my self at home. I did this! Wow.
We left the cord pluse for a few minutes and then Andy cut it. While I got out of the pool, Andy held her against his chest. I delevered the planceta and met my second midwife who arrive a few mins after she was born. They cleaned me up and sat me on my couch. I was in shock that I had my baby at home and it was all over. That what I had been dreaming about happening for the past 8months is over and Ive done it. I sat on the couch and fed her. While I fed her Ali made tea and toast for everyone. We sat on the couch everyone in awe of what just happened. Next thing we can hear Jack upstairs moving around, so Andy went up to bring him down. He walked into the sitting room in his school unifrom and his face was so sweet. I cried when I saw him. I told him this is your baby sister and he said " Oh baby Annabelle, her ears Mom are so small and cute" We hadn't said her name out loud, even though it was the only name we had. So with that she was named Annabelle. Then Jacks morning countined on as normal. He sat and had his breakfast and asked could he watch TV.
Then Emily woke up. Mary was weighing and then dressing Annabelle. I was sitting having toast. Emily was a bit slower for a reaction, she was a little uneasy with so many people in the house but once Jack put on Sofia the first she didn't pay any attention to Annabelle or whatever else was going on. I loved the fact that life just carried on as normal. Jack went to school as normal, he got collected as he normally does, they came in and couldn't believe I had the baby. Even my neighbours noticed the cars outside and knew I must of had the baby.
I wont lie, I did feel a little light headed afterwards and when Mary asked if I could stand up to go up to my bedroom. I couldn't. I lost a little bit of blood so I just rested on the couch instead. Annabelle was in the moses basket. I was still on a high from having her, so found it hard to actually sleep. Ali took Emily to her house for the day so both myself and Andy could get some rest. Mary stayed with us for 2 hours after she was born and she called back later that morning to us too.
We rang and text our immediate family and friends to tell them Baby Annabelle had arrived, at 6am weighing 7lbs 2oz, she was my smallest baby yet. One friend thought it was a joke, nope I actually had her. I rang another friend and she asked could she call in after dropping her kids to school. It was so strange I could have visitors when I wanted not when I was told by the hospital. It was lovely to tell her how it all went while we both kept saying "like you just had her, here" She helped us up to bed where I changed my clothes and climbed into bed.
Andy emptied the pool and cleaned up then he came up to bed to me. We lay in bed together gazing at Annabelle, we were both just amazed that she was here, she was perfect. This whole experience was fascinating, for all of us. We just couldn't believe it actually happened and in the comfort of our own home. It was truly magical.
Home Birth is something I had a different opinion on, until I had my own. When I talk about my home birth an over whelming sense of pride comes over me and this why I wanted to share my experience with you.
Giving birth is something amazing we do, no matter where you have your baby.
I called to a friends house that evening and when I was leaving I said to her partner "Next time you see me now I'll probably be a Mom of 3, how scary is that!" We all laughed at the thought that my baby could come any day now. Got home for about 10pm and went to bed after 11pm. Andy followed me to bed a little while later.
At some point during the night I got up to pee for like the 10th time that night. Nothing unusual about that. This time when I got back into bed I felt a kick but more like a pop and with it my stomach went hard as a rock. I thought to myself no way, this was not it, next thing while lying down, boom ya that was my water gone. I sat up in bed, yes it was defiantly was my waters cause it just wouldn't stop! I woke Andy and said my waters are going, he asked was I sure, em ya pretty sure that pool at my feet is my waters. He just couldn't see anything. I checked my phone it was 2.18pm and I rang Mary straight away. She said she was expecting a phone call from me. She knew by all the signs at my check up that labour had started. She was right I was going to have the baby by the weekend. Then I rang my sister in law, Ali. She was all disorientated on the phone, it was really funny. I told her to stay at home for now and I'll ring her when its time to come over. I didn't know how long my labour was going to be.
Then a bit of panic started setting in. I think it was more adrenalin. I was telling Andy, in a not so calm voice, that he must get the blankets and all the bags quickly and set up downstairs. I genuinely thought I wasn't going to have enough time to set everything up. I finally got down stairs and I remember my heart was going 90 and I kept saying to Andy. Oh my god this is it!! We are having our baby at home. My whole body was shaking. I think it was a combination of nerves and adrenalin. Then I remembered the pool. We have to fill the pool but how? Andy my DIY husband got some connection thingy and anyway what ever it was did the job.
I started timing my contraction they were coming every 3mins and lasting 45sec. The pain was manageable. I was walking around downstairs. When a contraction would come I would lean against the wall. I felt that helped with the pain. Mary arrived just after 3pm. When I saw her a huge sense of relief came over me, I felt now the baby can come. I am in safe hands. Mary gave me a huge hug and the look of joy on her face made me relax even more. She set up her on stuff on the table and plugged in the gas and air. Then she asked could she check me to see how far I am. She didn't tell me how far I was and I didn't ask. I had rang Ali in the meantime and asked her to come over. I felt the contractions were getting stronger. When she arrived I started getting really excited. Mary then said she would just rest in the siting room and leave us to it. I was surprised but then I thought sure what does she have to do? I am the one in control here. Its my body that's doing all the work. So I stopped timing my contraction and just went with what my body was doing. Andy was now filling the pool by a basin as I sat on my ball talking to Ali. We laughed and joked it was like I wasn't in labour and we were just having tea and chats. It was so strange but so nice made me just feel comfortable. Although half way through a senescent I would stop talking and concentrate on breathing through my contraction once it passed we would continue on like normal.
Seeing it was the middle of the night I text a few friends just saying, my waters broke. Knowing they would all be asleep. We took a few picture of me sitting on the ball and having a contraction. I was so calm, its just amazing what you can do if you don't focus on the pain.
I heard Jack upstairs he was going to the bathroom. I went up to check on him. I tucked him into bed, gave him a kiss and thought to myself, how wonderful this is. Here I am in the middle of labour and he is fast asleep through it all. When he wakes up in a few hours, his silbling will be born.
Things started to move faster. The pain was getting stronger so I asked Mary could I go into the pool. She checked me again but didn't tell me how far along I was. We had to cool down the pool a bit. When it was ready I jumped in the contractions were getting even stronger but as soon as I sat in the pool the pain seemed to subside infact it almost stopped. I knew that slower the contractions the longer its all going to be. So I kept moving around in the pool. I found certain positions brought on the contractions. I kept thinking stronger contractions means Im closer to the end, closer to seeing my baby, closer to finding out what baby was. I didn't think I would have my baby in the water but once I got in, I was not getting out until baby was born. At one stage Mary asked me to stand up so she could check babys heart rate. When I stood up I got an contraction and had to sit straight back down cause the pain was so strong but once my body was back in the water I was fine again. Its so funny because when there is no contraction there is no pain. Really no pain at all.
Now things started getting stronger and faster. The converscations had pretty much stopped between us all. I needed to concentrate to what my body was doing. I was leaning over the pool holding onto Andy. I had my head burried in his hands and the pain was intense but bareable. I started grunting and I could feel the head coming down. I asked Mary could I push, she said if thats what I need to do then go for it. I gave a little push and stopped cause it hurt, but then I thought to myself, Right just start pushing cause once I start pushing baby will be here and this pain will be gone. I thought about getting some gas and air but I knew I was OK without it, I can do this. So I asked Mary again can I push and she said yes if you need to and with that I started to push and kept pushing and pushing until baby was born. Then up she swam into my arms. Mary was trying to move the cord off her neck so I took the cord off her neck. I cried out "oh my God its a girl, Its a girl" I felt all along it would be a girl and I was right. I was shaking with joy. I did it. I did it all by my self at home. I did this! Wow.
We left the cord pluse for a few minutes and then Andy cut it. While I got out of the pool, Andy held her against his chest. I delevered the planceta and met my second midwife who arrive a few mins after she was born. They cleaned me up and sat me on my couch. I was in shock that I had my baby at home and it was all over. That what I had been dreaming about happening for the past 8months is over and Ive done it. I sat on the couch and fed her. While I fed her Ali made tea and toast for everyone. We sat on the couch everyone in awe of what just happened. Next thing we can hear Jack upstairs moving around, so Andy went up to bring him down. He walked into the sitting room in his school unifrom and his face was so sweet. I cried when I saw him. I told him this is your baby sister and he said " Oh baby Annabelle, her ears Mom are so small and cute" We hadn't said her name out loud, even though it was the only name we had. So with that she was named Annabelle. Then Jacks morning countined on as normal. He sat and had his breakfast and asked could he watch TV.
Then Emily woke up. Mary was weighing and then dressing Annabelle. I was sitting having toast. Emily was a bit slower for a reaction, she was a little uneasy with so many people in the house but once Jack put on Sofia the first she didn't pay any attention to Annabelle or whatever else was going on. I loved the fact that life just carried on as normal. Jack went to school as normal, he got collected as he normally does, they came in and couldn't believe I had the baby. Even my neighbours noticed the cars outside and knew I must of had the baby.
I wont lie, I did feel a little light headed afterwards and when Mary asked if I could stand up to go up to my bedroom. I couldn't. I lost a little bit of blood so I just rested on the couch instead. Annabelle was in the moses basket. I was still on a high from having her, so found it hard to actually sleep. Ali took Emily to her house for the day so both myself and Andy could get some rest. Mary stayed with us for 2 hours after she was born and she called back later that morning to us too.
We rang and text our immediate family and friends to tell them Baby Annabelle had arrived, at 6am weighing 7lbs 2oz, she was my smallest baby yet. One friend thought it was a joke, nope I actually had her. I rang another friend and she asked could she call in after dropping her kids to school. It was so strange I could have visitors when I wanted not when I was told by the hospital. It was lovely to tell her how it all went while we both kept saying "like you just had her, here" She helped us up to bed where I changed my clothes and climbed into bed.
Andy emptied the pool and cleaned up then he came up to bed to me. We lay in bed together gazing at Annabelle, we were both just amazed that she was here, she was perfect. This whole experience was fascinating, for all of us. We just couldn't believe it actually happened and in the comfort of our own home. It was truly magical.
Home Birth is something I had a different opinion on, until I had my own. When I talk about my home birth an over whelming sense of pride comes over me and this why I wanted to share my experience with you.
Giving birth is something amazing we do, no matter where you have your baby.
Wednesday, 5 November 2014
Preparing for My Home Birth
Having a Home Birth the week you cant wait to reach is 37, because at 37 weeks its official you can have your baby at home. You receive your home birth pack which has all the midwife needs for home birth. Which to my surprise really isn't that much. I remember the excitement I felt when I collected it, that box marked the day I am in the clear for my first home birth.
The little things I didn't realised I needed until I made my birth plan with Mary was towels and lots of them. Water poof sheet for under the birthing pool. Face cloths. Blankets, Sheets. A Box for the placenta, to which I told Mary I wasn't going to do anything with it so she can just do whatever they do with it and to my shock she informed me I had to dispose of it myself and suggested I buried it out my back and plant a tree over it, which is a lovely idea, unfortunately we have just dug up our garden so it was a running joke in the family as what will we do with it. It was suggested to maybe make placenta ice cream. (Andy's Uncle owns an ice cream store and he was giving us the box for the placenta so in return with offered it to him to make ice cream with it, didn't take off like we hoped)
We bagged all the blankets and everything we needed together so when the time came we would just know where everything was.
We also needed to sort the kids. I have 2 other children Jack aged 5 and Emily aged 2. Where would they go during it or would they stay, we made a plan for day and night. I always felt I would have the baby during the night, so unless we were disturbing the kids we would leave them sleep through it.
Who did we want there? This is a tough one I wanted to share this experience with everyone but I also wanted that intimate setting with Andy. I wanted him to be involved and not just stand there on the side line like he did in hospital. We decided that we both wanted Andy's sister to be there, I really wanted to share this experience with her, also she could help with the kids if needed and someone else to talk to during labour. We also said we wouldn't let any know when I'm in labour, that we would just let them know when baby is born. Didn't want people sending texts to find out how far I was ect. Also the fear of them just arriving at my door while I was mid push or something like that, because they could! I mean I am at home like!!
Mary talked to me about what pain relief I could have. There was water, either a birthing pool or a bath or even sit on a yoga ball in the shower which is an awesome idea. But I could also have gas and air which I felt at that time I definitely would need the gas and air!! Or so I thought.
Mary explained to Andy and I on a visit to our house, what the process was. I'm to ring Mary at the first signs of labour and having 2 previous births that were fast, Jack 5 hours and Emily's 2 hours. She would come straight away. When she arrives she will do an internal and set up her equipment. We should set up the pool and have the hot water on. She rings the ambulance when she arrives and lets them know I'm in labour. She will also ring the second midwife who has to be there just for the birth and afterwards, but she wont arrive till closer to baby coming. And that's it really she said.
After care then Mary will stay about 2 to 4 hours with us after baby is born. Just to make sure we are both OK. Then she will visit for the first 2 days after baby and then on the 4th day to do baby's heal test. After that then it will be twice a week or so, but she is at the end of the phone at any time day or night and just ring if I need her. All in all, I'm under her care afterwards for about 2 to 3 weeks. Then she signs me off to the Public Health Nurse.
Now that we had all the details on what to do and what we needed, we were sorted and everything was ready, it was a waiting game from now on.
At the end of any third trimester, every little pain you wonder is this it? Is this the start of labour? Am I in labour? I guess when you've done it before you kinda learn that baby will come when they are ready and you'll be ready when they are.
The little things I didn't realised I needed until I made my birth plan with Mary was towels and lots of them. Water poof sheet for under the birthing pool. Face cloths. Blankets, Sheets. A Box for the placenta, to which I told Mary I wasn't going to do anything with it so she can just do whatever they do with it and to my shock she informed me I had to dispose of it myself and suggested I buried it out my back and plant a tree over it, which is a lovely idea, unfortunately we have just dug up our garden so it was a running joke in the family as what will we do with it. It was suggested to maybe make placenta ice cream. (Andy's Uncle owns an ice cream store and he was giving us the box for the placenta so in return with offered it to him to make ice cream with it, didn't take off like we hoped)
We bagged all the blankets and everything we needed together so when the time came we would just know where everything was.
We also needed to sort the kids. I have 2 other children Jack aged 5 and Emily aged 2. Where would they go during it or would they stay, we made a plan for day and night. I always felt I would have the baby during the night, so unless we were disturbing the kids we would leave them sleep through it.
Who did we want there? This is a tough one I wanted to share this experience with everyone but I also wanted that intimate setting with Andy. I wanted him to be involved and not just stand there on the side line like he did in hospital. We decided that we both wanted Andy's sister to be there, I really wanted to share this experience with her, also she could help with the kids if needed and someone else to talk to during labour. We also said we wouldn't let any know when I'm in labour, that we would just let them know when baby is born. Didn't want people sending texts to find out how far I was ect. Also the fear of them just arriving at my door while I was mid push or something like that, because they could! I mean I am at home like!!
Mary talked to me about what pain relief I could have. There was water, either a birthing pool or a bath or even sit on a yoga ball in the shower which is an awesome idea. But I could also have gas and air which I felt at that time I definitely would need the gas and air!! Or so I thought.
Mary explained to Andy and I on a visit to our house, what the process was. I'm to ring Mary at the first signs of labour and having 2 previous births that were fast, Jack 5 hours and Emily's 2 hours. She would come straight away. When she arrives she will do an internal and set up her equipment. We should set up the pool and have the hot water on. She rings the ambulance when she arrives and lets them know I'm in labour. She will also ring the second midwife who has to be there just for the birth and afterwards, but she wont arrive till closer to baby coming. And that's it really she said.
After care then Mary will stay about 2 to 4 hours with us after baby is born. Just to make sure we are both OK. Then she will visit for the first 2 days after baby and then on the 4th day to do baby's heal test. After that then it will be twice a week or so, but she is at the end of the phone at any time day or night and just ring if I need her. All in all, I'm under her care afterwards for about 2 to 3 weeks. Then she signs me off to the Public Health Nurse.
Now that we had all the details on what to do and what we needed, we were sorted and everything was ready, it was a waiting game from now on.
At the end of any third trimester, every little pain you wonder is this it? Is this the start of labour? Am I in labour? I guess when you've done it before you kinda learn that baby will come when they are ready and you'll be ready when they are.
At 38 weeks and 5 days I was done. I was ready for baby to come. I just wanted to meet him or her. I wanted my home birth!
And then it all started.
Wednesday, 29 October 2014
Beginners guide to Home Births
Home Birth. My first thought would of been only hippies have homebirths, well I was totally wrong.
When I found out I was pregnant for the 3rd time it was a surprised shock. We were only only trying for 2 months and it took 6 months on our daughter, so I assumed it would take the same time or longer.
It was New Years Day when I peed on that stick and being my 3rd I knew the routine or so I thought.
At 27 going on 28 in July and already a mother of two, Jack 5, Emily 2, with both pregnancy's being straight forward and fast labours, (Jack 5 hours and a week early, Emily 2 hours and 3 days over induction) I knew how things would go this time, and hopefully the same as the others.
The day that changed everything was when I was talking with my best friend J, she asked would I not think about a homebirth seeing as both previous had been so great, I said " No way, I HAVE to have my baby in hospital!!" but i said Id look into it, to which I did.
I looked up on the Home Birth Association of Ireland web page, I read some info and looked up the midwives I saw a name I recognised Mary Cronin, so at 7pm that night I rang Mary to see what the protocol was. Never did I think that, that phone call would not only change my birth plan but also my opinions on parenting and the way babies are just amazing.
So what did Mary say that changed everything well firstly she was so welcoming on the phone. She told me that the HSE will cover the cost of it. Which was great because as we all know babies are expensive enough themselves.
The process itself is very simple, I must get signed off by a consultant in CUMH first, and that's it. I meet Mary instead for all my hospital appointments and just go to my GP as normal throughout my pregnancy.
She told me the risk of having a homebirth but personally I dont like to focus on the negative and this could also happen in hospital but obviously in hospital you are closer to doctors if anything were to go wrong.but when I do go into labour she rings the ambulance to let them know Ive started labour so they are on stand by for the "just in case" scenario.
We made an appointment to meet when I was 8 weeks and I made my hospital appointment to be have my dating scan and to be signed off.
When I met Mary for the first time she welcomed me with a warm hug and a huge smile on her face, I was nervous because I didnt know what to expect. We went through my birth history, and she said Im an ideal candidate for homebirth. Our meeting went on for over 2 hours we just talked a little about everything just my life in general. I guess it was us getting to know each other, because after all this is the woman who is going to deliver my baby so I needed to feel safe and comfortable. Which I did. I felt I could tell her anything and to my suprise I let her in, which for me is a big deal.
When I went home that evening it was all I could talk about. I was so excited that I was going to have my baby at home, in my own house. That my son and daughter could wake up one morning and their sibling will be there in our home. Minutes after she was born. That I could watch TV during labour or listening to whatever music I like, eat real food not hospital crap. That I can have a shower in MY shower, or that I didnt have to worry about what to pack in my hospital bag, I could have who I wanted there, take pictures or video it all, but the best part of all was I get to sleep in my own bed. Have my baby and then climb into my bed and have my husband by side through it all. It was what I looked forward to the most so snuggle up in bed with my baby and my husband.
Our next encounter was in the hospital where the consultant signed us off. I got the green light, I was over the moon and a little bit like "OK so this is actually going to happen". Our dating scan showed I was too early to see baby clearly, so had to go back 3 weeks later and baby was perfect. these were the only scans I had throughout my pregnancy which was something I had to get used to cause on my previous pregnancy I had a scan on most of my visits. So I leaned to just trust my body that it was doing everything right and baby was growing perfectly.
My pregnancy was textbook. Felt baby move. Belly grew with each month that passed. I really enjoyed my pregnancy, I felt amazing. Our bodies are truly gifted.
So as my belly grew, my knowledge of home births and pregnancy and life after baby grew too. As a third time mom I thought I knew all I need to know about pregnancy and birth, but this whole experience has opened my eyes to a whole new world.
When I found out I was pregnant for the 3rd time it was a surprised shock. We were only only trying for 2 months and it took 6 months on our daughter, so I assumed it would take the same time or longer.
It was New Years Day when I peed on that stick and being my 3rd I knew the routine or so I thought.
At 27 going on 28 in July and already a mother of two, Jack 5, Emily 2, with both pregnancy's being straight forward and fast labours, (Jack 5 hours and a week early, Emily 2 hours and 3 days over induction) I knew how things would go this time, and hopefully the same as the others.
The day that changed everything was when I was talking with my best friend J, she asked would I not think about a homebirth seeing as both previous had been so great, I said " No way, I HAVE to have my baby in hospital!!" but i said Id look into it, to which I did.
I looked up on the Home Birth Association of Ireland web page, I read some info and looked up the midwives I saw a name I recognised Mary Cronin, so at 7pm that night I rang Mary to see what the protocol was. Never did I think that, that phone call would not only change my birth plan but also my opinions on parenting and the way babies are just amazing.
So what did Mary say that changed everything well firstly she was so welcoming on the phone. She told me that the HSE will cover the cost of it. Which was great because as we all know babies are expensive enough themselves.
The process itself is very simple, I must get signed off by a consultant in CUMH first, and that's it. I meet Mary instead for all my hospital appointments and just go to my GP as normal throughout my pregnancy.
She told me the risk of having a homebirth but personally I dont like to focus on the negative and this could also happen in hospital but obviously in hospital you are closer to doctors if anything were to go wrong.but when I do go into labour she rings the ambulance to let them know Ive started labour so they are on stand by for the "just in case" scenario.
We made an appointment to meet when I was 8 weeks and I made my hospital appointment to be have my dating scan and to be signed off.
When I met Mary for the first time she welcomed me with a warm hug and a huge smile on her face, I was nervous because I didnt know what to expect. We went through my birth history, and she said Im an ideal candidate for homebirth. Our meeting went on for over 2 hours we just talked a little about everything just my life in general. I guess it was us getting to know each other, because after all this is the woman who is going to deliver my baby so I needed to feel safe and comfortable. Which I did. I felt I could tell her anything and to my suprise I let her in, which for me is a big deal.
When I went home that evening it was all I could talk about. I was so excited that I was going to have my baby at home, in my own house. That my son and daughter could wake up one morning and their sibling will be there in our home. Minutes after she was born. That I could watch TV during labour or listening to whatever music I like, eat real food not hospital crap. That I can have a shower in MY shower, or that I didnt have to worry about what to pack in my hospital bag, I could have who I wanted there, take pictures or video it all, but the best part of all was I get to sleep in my own bed. Have my baby and then climb into my bed and have my husband by side through it all. It was what I looked forward to the most so snuggle up in bed with my baby and my husband.
Our next encounter was in the hospital where the consultant signed us off. I got the green light, I was over the moon and a little bit like "OK so this is actually going to happen". Our dating scan showed I was too early to see baby clearly, so had to go back 3 weeks later and baby was perfect. these were the only scans I had throughout my pregnancy which was something I had to get used to cause on my previous pregnancy I had a scan on most of my visits. So I leaned to just trust my body that it was doing everything right and baby was growing perfectly.
My pregnancy was textbook. Felt baby move. Belly grew with each month that passed. I really enjoyed my pregnancy, I felt amazing. Our bodies are truly gifted.
So as my belly grew, my knowledge of home births and pregnancy and life after baby grew too. As a third time mom I thought I knew all I need to know about pregnancy and birth, but this whole experience has opened my eyes to a whole new world.
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